10 Thoughts on Love

Relationship counsellors say successful relationships need give and take. I recommend concentrating on the giving.

There is no room in a relationship for self-centredness. I will not profess to be an expert, and I've made plenty of mistakes, but my wife and I are happy, secure, and value every moment we have together.

I have no doubt there are 1001 lessons to share on what makes a successful relationship. Here's just ten.

1. Keep one vital promise – to be a faithful, loving and loyal partner. Those words were the cornerstone of my wedding vows and when I reach my deathbed I want to look back and know I kept my promise.
2. Say “I Love You” every day and mean it. If it helps, say it to yourself every day too.
3. Treasure the warmth and closeness of your partner’s friendship. Breathe in their presence like morning air. Thrill-seeking holidays or big career moves can be rewarding but don’t ignore the beautiful uniqueness of waking up every morning beside the one you love. It has an end date, so revel in it.
4. Don’t let your internal critic control your actions. By allowing your inner critic to command your emotions you’ll end up saying hurtful comments in the heat of the moment. Work on the basis that the one you love is always right (usually) and enjoy the result.
5. Always put the person you love first. Offer to drive on a dinner date so they can enjoy a glass of wine. Buy them surprise presents for no reason. Let them have the giant slice of cake, and you take the mug with the chip. Little things matter.
6. Never ever take you partner for granted. Every single day you have together is special. Life is special and it’s a privilege to spend it with someone.
7. Never let the day end on an argument. Be the first to offer reconciliation with a kiss.
8. Listen to their life, their day and how they feel. My wife loves to tell me all the issues that affected her day. Sometimes I get to offer advice or ask questions, but the most important thing is to listen.
9. Hold the one you love in your arms and think how wonderful they are. Hug each other every day.
10. If sickness strikes, nurse and support them.